Happy Mother’s Day
My sister delivered her fourth baby! I often think about how she has four kids and that I don’t want as many. I can barely take care of two children, so it would be hard to raise four. I’m saying this based on my abilities with children. My sister may consider childcare easy or tough. I don’t know, but she is a great, patient mother who shows her children love. So why was I so mean to her growing up?
I was four years old and my sister, Liz, was three. I remember she cleaned her ear with a Q-tip, and I hit the Q-tip into her ear — like when Tanya shoves a straw into Charles’ ear on Sleepwalkers when he’s trying to kill her. What was I thinking!? That could have permanently damaged her. Every time I clean my ears, this memory flashes before my eyes. I’m so sorry, Liz.
Fast forward to ten years old and I recall singing Mariah Carey in the kitchen. I weakly sang, “Oh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby...” and my sister joined in. I told her to shut up and stop singing with me. Again, why was I so mean as a young girl!? If I could quickly jump into a travel machine, I would put my arm around her and sing together. Again, I’m so sorry, Liz.
Let’s rewind to 15 years old. We were arguing in our bedroom, and I fail to remember what the subject was, but she sat on the bed, and I was near our dresser. I grabbed a hairbrush and threw it at her. It hit her on the knee, and she cried out in pain. I feel so bad about this.
While our relationship is no longer arguments and fights, because we have matured, I still ruminate about these events. Also, these are not the only fights we went through, and we sometimes showed affection.
We were both in track and Liz ran the 200m race. She was in last place and came up to me and quietly cried about how badly she raced. I tried to comfort her as best I could and softly said, “You’re not bad at running, Liz.” Her competition had cleats and she ran in school sneakers. I always remember how she quietly burst out into tears.
As a family, we dealt with poverty, and we moved numerous times. I struggled to keep friends and I was such an introvert that attending new schools kept me shy and quiet. Now I know I took my frustrations out on my sister and that dealing with poverty is not an excuse for my actions. I’m so sorry I treated my sister this way.
Mother’s Day is around the corner, and I’d love to show my sister some gratitude for tolerating me. With all that I’ve done wrong, I’d like to redeem myself and attempt at making it right. I’ve tried to make it right for years now. I’m not sure I will ever clear my conscience, but I also love to surprise her with gifts because this is my love language. Honestly, her patience and tolerance of me were undoubtedly motherly.
Truthfully, we could all show our sisters some Mother’s Day love. If you have a sister who is now a mother, don’t forget to tell her she’s appreciated and loved. They deserve it. Oh, and happy Mother’s Day.
